i’ve taken to going to the gym with all of the other hamsters running away from stuff and getting no further away. i think i’ve gone every day since last wed., with the exception of saturday. i am no further away, which comes as a bit of a disappointment, as i was beginning to think that the hamsters knew something i didn’t. disappointment on all fronts, apparently.
and the work thing gets progressivly worse. we are approaching the end of the first two weeks and already everyone is beginning to show signs of strain. i can’t sleep, i’ve got tension headaches and it is all because there is this air of expectancy, like an axe is going to fall and my job is to be sure i’m not in its way. but who knows when and where, or for that matter, why. and so we bumble along with her hawk eyes burning holes in the backs of our heads. she waits to catch someone fucking up some how and we try to find other jobs while we do what we can not to be the one who fucks up.
i’ve been home from morocco for two weeks and already, i am the kind of tired that sleep doesn’t cure.