Past Hump Day, Yet Still High-Centered

Today has been a useless day. Thus far, I have:  

*Read other people’s blogs.  
*Read gossip magazines.  
*Read Rolling Stone.  
*Written to J. about being emotionally crippled.  
*Not gone to the bathroom, though I noticed I needed to go about three hours ago.  
*Not noticed my ass going numb, until now.  

And I am thinking of things that I am afraid of:

*Losing my boundaries.  
*Becoming one of those self-important thirty-something girl bloggers that think that a lack of capitalization means that they are deep, or tragic, or far more insouciant than they are.
*That the thirty-something girl bloggers as above really are having loads of sex while I distinctly am not. I wonder if all that sex is fun, or if it just ends up a little sordid and pointless.  
*Falling back in love and this time so deep it really does ruin me this time instead of nearly ruining me like it did the last time.  
*My ambivalence – both my position in the world and how I feel about it, all neither here nor there.  
*Being profoundly average.
See note above.  
*How comfortable I am with the fact that I have no idea what comes next, nor what I wish would come next.  
*Not writing, and how completely it is that I am not writing.  

I’ll dig into being profoundly emotionally crippled some other time. 

For now, I think I’ll actually make my way to the restroom.  But first: how funny is it that the blogging software doesn’t recognize blog in its spell-check? 

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Past Hump Day, Yet Still High-Centered

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