I don’t dare confess how many times I’ve seen this movie. It is a movie for men who are approaching middle age but still think they are the hotness. It is a movie for men who are approaching middle age but still have fantasies about barely-legal schoolgirls who have pillow fights in white drawers and pigtails. Yet and still, I TIVO’ed it nearly two years ago and I watch it when I want something soothing and predictable.
It presents me with the same shooting-fish-in-a-barrel life lessons that were there the last time I saw it:
- A soundtrack that includes the Cure improves just about every screenplay.
- Giving attractive lesbian teenagers a happy ending trumps national security. Like duh. Did you have to ask?
- You are always the most true to yourself at the end of the story, when you have a big crisis and a moment of truth, but that moment is only possible with an audience. Also: you will not lose the girl for taking so long to figure it out. She will still smile when you say her name.
- Booty trumps friendship, but friends don’t mind.
- Anything is possible when you are 18. The further you get from 18, the less true this is.