You can’t give yourself the benefit of the doubt if you aren’t willing to extend it to the other guy.
Yes, other people can only judge you on your actions. Yes, people’s behavior is the truest test of who they are: you are, in every case, what you do. However… when you look at what you do, you give yourself a wide berth for intentions and external circumstances and things like a bad day. To be fair, you must extend the same compassion to the other guy. Certainly if you want them to extend that compassion to you.
Good luck living it. As in all cases, it is harder than it looks.