Generally speaking, I don’t add many people to my circle of friends. It isn’t that I’m a snob, but I’m not for everyone and not everyone is for me. Besides, the people I do associate with are people with whom I have meaningful connections, mutually established loyalty, and a shared sense of oddball humor.
So cutting people out of my life is an unusual experience. So it’s twice as strange that I’ve got both a drifter and someone I’ve actively cut out all in the same year. I don’t know how I feel about it.
In friendships where the “I’d do anything for you” clause is in place, I’ve never had it turned into an expectation of “you’ll do everything for me.” Obviously that is a bit of an exaggeration, but it isn’t stretching it too far to say that this individual has taken and taken and taken some more, been informed of incidents where she’s pushed my boundaries too far, and has subsequently pushed them too far again. And today I told her that, since she won’t respect my limits, I am left with no choice but to enforce them. And then I put her phone number in the “go directly to hang up” list on my phone.
I don’t feel good about this action, but I’m in no mood to retract it either. I’m done.
As for the drifter, I’m a little less clear. For my part, there was a healthy dose of shame involved after a particularly disastrous interview. I didn’t mean to eff it up so badly, but I did, and I was ashamed and embarrassed. She helped me to secure the interview in the first place and I’m sure she was not pleased that it went so far sideways either. That makes for a healthy dose of awkward. I’m not mad, there are no hard feelings, but with everything else that has been going on, I really don’t have the resources to pursue it.
(Incidentally, it turns out that it is a good thing that position didn’t come my way.)
Anyone want to comment on legitimate reasons to cut off a friendship?