You’re Getting in the Way

Because Jill Scott is always a good place to start…

But what I really mean is that you’re getting in the way of yourself.  This is the other lesson that seems to show up in your late twenties.  How are you going to stop getting in between you and the thing that you want?

The trouble is that there’s no path from here to there.  The answer is really that you just quit one day.  You look at all the things you’re doing, you decide that you want what you want more than you want all the things you put between yourself and the thing that you want, and you get on with it.  You decide that shipping is better than perfection.  You let go of your idea of yourself, your opinions about who you are and how you operate, and you turn your attention towards the goal.

Your doubts don’t go away, you just start questioning them.  You ask questions like:

  • What can I do today that doesn’t require permission?
  • If I accomplish nothing else, what do I need to do to feel like I’ve progressed when I crawl into bed?
  • Is this the most important thing I could be working on?
  • What can I make happen in the next fifteen minutes?
  • Is this thing I’m obsessing with going to matter to me tomorrow?
  • What’s the one thing I can do to move my life in the direction of my goal?
  • How does this support my sense of purpose?

And you let a whole bunch of shit go.  Your ideas about supposed to, a good chunk of your idealism, your opinions about things that ultimately don’t matter.  You cut out a bunch of the bs.  You decide who and what is allowed under your skin.  You remind yourself that other people’s shit isn’t about you.  You let everything go except for a handful of relationships and your sense of purpose.  If it doesn’t contribute to either your quality of life or your purpose, you shake it off.  You choose.  Am I going to spend my day doing things that move me towards my goal or am I going to spend my day doing shit I won’t remember next week?

If it doesn’t help, if it isn’t constructive, then it ceases to be worthy of your time and attention.

Getting out of your own way isn’t a process, it is a series of choices.  It’s an assessment of your purpose and choosing that purpose over your boredom, over your OCD, over your distractions, over everything else.  And it isn’t that you never choose the foolish over your purpose, but that when there’s no wiggle room left, you pick your purpose, your goal, over how you’re feeling.  You pick your purpose over your fears.  You pick it over your uncertainties.  And you just go with it.  A little every day.

Because it’s better than the alternative.

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You’re Getting in the Way

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