Burning Down the House

IMG_20151012_195605I attempted to burn down the house tonight.  No big deal.  Just a little addled by the migraine meds and determined to address some of the house chaos by finishing the Crayola art.

It seemed like a good idea at the time, you know?  Michaels, sale, canvas, crayons.  That goddamn Pinterest.  I think Facebook is the devil, but Pinterest is looking like the Devil’s pretty daughter.  All those people doing crafty things, taking well-lit pictures of their pretty creations.  Whimsical crayon art with inspiring messages.  All that bloody whimsy.  And the hair tutorials.  Don’t get me started, because I’ll descend into hair tutorials never to return.

Anyway, here I am on a federal holiday, nursing a migraine and looking at the chaos and thinking I’ll do something simple to finish up the day.  I’ll get my whimsical crayon art completed and then I can hang it in the bathroom which is now officially 99% painted.  The one I started a couple of weeks ago needed a little more melting on the edges, so I had a bright idea.  I’ll put it in the broiler!

People, do not put the crayon art in the oven, or at the very least, don’t put it under the broiler.  It caught on fire, the dog very sensibly tried to evacuate the premises, and now the house no longer carries the whiff of previous owner because it smells like toxic crayon fire instead.

I think I’m going to go to bed now.

Burning Down the House

7 thoughts on “Burning Down the House

  1. My angel dog was clearly enjoying an inner monologue about how she managed to get stuck with an idiot person instead of someone sensible with a penchant for indulging her in a more generous schedule of treats…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Don’t let her fool you. She’s thrilled to be needed. Undoubtedly, she got extra treats when she dragged you out of victim mode into survival of the fittest. Does burning-crayon-smell help migraines? Maybe getting outside and walking the dog? And a little more free advice: Next time, get Angel to take you for a walk before you decide to broil your art.


  3. Sure…on the weekends, when you let your hair down. Mostly, it’s straight up torching though…calculating how much gas you gotta carry, the size of the building, escape routes etc.


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