See, the downstairs half bath started with old lady wall paper and a huge vanity that dwarfed what is essentially a toilet at the end of a narrow hallway. Can’t have that. So I jumped in with the demolition and wallpaper removal, only to discover that the wall is a mutant. Somewhere along the way – a burst pipe perhaps – the bottom half of the wall got removed and replaced with drywall. They hung the drywall and patched up the transition, and then applied wallpaper directly on top of it all without priming it first.
Don’t do that.
The wallpaper came off cleanly, at least from the top, plaster, part of the wall. The bottom half? Well, the wall paper glue didn’t want to come off of the drywall paper. The proper solution? Smash it all out and replace the entirety of the mess with drywall.
In other words, cash money Benjamins, thanks.
Or no thanks.
So I did what every sensible girl would do: I went to Pinterest. My first plan was to cover up the inconsistent texture with more texture by way of those paper lacy doily things. That didn’t work so well. Pinterest had these terribly intelligent walls papered in Shakespeare. Making a virtue of the vice, I went for the dictionary instead. And thereby got to find words like “poop” and phrases like “muff diving” on the wall. I also put up a bustle, different kinds of hammers, breeches, paisley, and ships… And my favorite people’s names, at least the ones that were in the 1977 dictionary. And some other naughty words. (Hence the point about not really being an adult, in spite of the years that are piling up.)
As a chronic under-estimater (or optimist), I didn’t realize how long this project would take. Two hours sitting there finding words and pictures, and I’m no where near done just yet.
But since this is headed towards being a wordy water closet, I figured I should top the dictionary with chalkboard paint, that way my friends can write inappropriate things on my wall without fear of getting in trouble. Since it is my house, I get to lead the charge into immaturity… See?
And this is what I’ve been doing instead of stacking up my blog posts for weeks ahead of time so I’m never behind schedule: finding dirty words to put on my wall.
That damned Pinterest.