The trouble with everything costs something is that you can only experience one set of consequences: the decision tree branches, you pick one or the other, and the not-chosen branch dies quietly. Schrodinger’s Cat, once examined, is either one or the other. You don’t get to play both out.
I have a supervisor. My supervisor finds me disrespectful. I find him intellectually incurious, and therefore limited as a manager of people. You have to be interested in perspectives other than your own to manage effectively. His response to my perceived disrespect has been distinctly bullyish. I spoke up for myself. And here we arrive at the rule for being smart for the day:
Don’t write a check with your alligator mouth that is going to break your canary ass.
I’m not saying that’s where I am. Everything costs something: speaking up in your own defense is expensive. Keeping quiet comes with its own expenses, and the truth is that, more often than not, the person who makes a problem known becomes the problem child and not the person who caused the problem. Speaking up makes people uncomfortable. Everyone would rather you do the safe thing, the comfortable thing, and talk bad about the schmuck, wreak havoc with everyone’s morale, complain bitterly and quietly, and then find another job. The clean answer, the direct answer, raising your hand and saying no, this isn’t going to go down like this…
Both options have their costs. The one is up front and immediate. The other is a bit like paying by credit card. Sure, you think that paying a little bit over time is easier on your finances, but one day you wake up like most Americans with $15,000 on the Visa and 22% APR, wondering how you could have ever been so stupid and what on earth you have to show for the debt.
There is no clear answer here. In my case, Schrodinger’s Cat is dead and I don’t know how things would have played out if I hadn’t stood up to the bully, because I did, and now I’m the problem child.
Everything costs something. There are times when that is both a certainty and a comfort. I would have been paying for this anyway… at least that’s what I tell myself. Besides. I’m not sure I was constitutionally capable of keeping my mouth shut. So there is that to consider as well.
Canaries and alligators. Make sure your back end matches your front end before you assert yourself. That’s all.